December 17 2009

December 17 2009 started like any other ordinary day. I was due to have a scan at the hospital where Amelie (we were told at an earlier scan that we were probably having a girl so her name was already chosen!) was due to be born. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (GD) at around 28 weeks and had to have a couple of extra scans just to make sure that Amelie wasn't getting too big. Babies with mums with GD have a tendency to get a bit too big in the womb. We arrived for the scan and waited until my name was called. So far so ordinary.

Rahul said he knew something was wrong when he saw the sonogram. I hadn't a clue what was happening because I couldn't really see the image. The sonographer (is that what they are called?!) said that she needed to speak to the consultant and could we wait outside. At this stage I think I just went into autopilot and shock kicked in. We were then called in to see the diabetes doctor who told me that my diabetes was under control. Good news. He then said that there was a problem with my placenta and that I had reverse blood flow which meant that my placenta wasn't providing Amelie with everything that she needed. At that point the gynaecologist came in and said that Amelie needed be delivered straight away. Rahul almost passed out and all I can really remember about this is that we asked what the odds of survival were. We were told that they were good and that babies could be delivered at a much earlier gestation.

Things are very blurry beyond this point. I was rushed to the delivery suite and I was hooked up to a monitor to listen to Amelie's heartbeat while they prepped me. A midwife came in to insert a line in my hand. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced and I almost passed out with pain.

Less than one hour later I was in the operating theatre having a spinal. This didn't hurt - all I felt was pressure on my lower back . At this point I went into total shock and I started shaking uncontrollably. All I could think was that Amelie wouldn't survive and that I only came in for a scan. How could this be happening?

During the c section which I was awake for the obstetrician found that I had placenta acreta which meant that my placenta was stuck to the side of my womb and had to be literally scraped off. Had I given birth naturally I would have had to have an operation immediately after Amelie was delivered to get the placenta out. As a result I had to have a blood transfusion.

Things are very blurry but I remember the medical team showing me Amelie (who didn't cry immediately) before putting her in an incubator and whisking her off to the special baby unit. I couldn't hold her, or even touch her which was heartbreaking.

So Amelie's arrival into the world was far from smooth! Thankfully she is doing fine now. She's not as big as other babies her age but she's feisty, determined and growing steadily. We are very very lucky and I tell myself this every time she wakes in the night. Her crying is comforting as I know that the reason she is crying is because she is hungry and growing and for that we are so so thankful.